


Hold

by LtTanyaBoone



Series: Connor!verse [8]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Family, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 09:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  "Ziva closed her eyes and tried to relax, knowing it would help the tiny baby currently resting on her chest."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold

**Disclaimers:** NCIS, the rights to the show and its characters do not belong to me. No money was made by this.  
 **Spoilers:** everything, AU  
 **Pairing:** Tim McGee/Ziva David romance (est. relationship)

* * *

Ziva closed her eyes and attempted to force herself to relax, knowing it would help the tiny baby currently resting on her chest.

She had her blouse unbuttoned and Ella was clad only in a diaper, socks and a beanie, her skin resting against that of her mother. Tim pulled a blanket over them to help prevent their daughter from losing her temperature. She could feel the baby shift against her, trying to get comfortable. Ella kicked softly against her mother as she supported her diaper-clad rear before she yawned and snuggled closer. A nurse stopped by to check on the heart monitor and gave them a thumbs up before leaving them alone again to check on another child. They only had gotten to hold Ella for the first time yesterday, and it had been Tim who had gotten that privilege because Ziva was sure that she would freak out and not be able to let go of her daughter again once the time was up. The second round had been her and the ten minutes had been over way too fast. She had needed half an hour to calm down again afterwards, her longing to simply be able to hold her child and cuddle with her tearing at her heart. She knew Tim felt the same way, yet he let her cry and supported her and tried to remain calm and optimistic. She didn’t know how she could possibly thank him for this later, because really, she wouldn’t be able to handle this without him by her side.

Ziva glanced down at her daughter and gently stroked her cheek, causing Ella to turn her head slightly and tearing at Ziva’s heart. She longed to be able to nurse her, but right now, the only food Ella got was through a feeding tube, and it would probably be another few days until they would be able to attempt feeding her with a bottle, never mind trying to nurse the tiny child.

Ella gave a small shudder and a sound that was close to mewling, something they had come to recognize as her way of crying since her birth.

“Sh, it’s okay.” Ziva muttered, drawing a deep breath and carefully adjusting Ella’s head so her ear was resting against her skin again and the baby could hear her heartbeat. It seemed to relax her, Ella stopped crying, one of her tiny hands finding the strap of Ziva’s bra and holding it tightly. When she looked up, she saw her husband watch their daughter, completely mesmerized and the camera in his hands forgotten.

“Tim?” she softly whispered, and he shook his head slightly before looking at her with a questioning look. “You may want to snap those pictures now.” she informed him, smiling despite herself. Tim nodded and turned on the camera, the soft beep making Ella jerk her head in surprise. Ziva covered it gently, holding her close.

“Sh. Nothing’s wrong.” she assured the baby, merely to have her hear her voice and hoping it would calm her. The baby yawned again before turning her head in the other direction, away from her father and snuggling close to Ziva, who bit her lip to keep herself from laughing loudly at Tim’s pouting look when he realized their daughter had turned away from him. Or rather, the origin of the noise. He sneaked around them, snapping a few pictures of mother and daughter and then of Ella’s tiny face. Afterwards, he set the camera aside and took a small chair to sit next to Ziva in the rocking chair, carefully touching Ella’s hand. His wife gradually relaxed and gave him a soft and almost happy smile.

“She is so small.” she whispered softly, carefully rubbing Ella’s back. He reached over and adjusted the miniature pink beanie the baby was wearing to keep her from loosing body warmth.

“Yeah, she is.” he agreed, kissing Ziva’s cheek lightly and wiping away the tear that was trailing down it. “She’s already gotten bigger, though. She’s a real fighter.” he added, trying to reassure her. Ziva sniffled lightly and kissed her daughter’s head. Ella gave a soft sigh, her mouth moving in her sleep.

“I like her name.” the mother suddenly said, and Tim looked at her in surprise.

“Really?” he asked, his voice higher than usual. “I know we haven’t really talked about it and I just went with the ones at the top of ours lists. If you wanna change it-“

But Ziva shook her head, staring down at the sleeping infant with a look of complete love on her face.

“No. I think it is perfect for her.” she told him, cradling the baby close. All too soon, a nurse appeared again, an apologetic look on her face. Tim stood and removed the blanket carefully before stepping aside to make room for the nurse to take Ella from Ziva and place the baby back in her incubator bed. Ziva stood, handing over the small sock Ella had lost during their cuddling session. Or kangarooing, or whatever it was called.

“She needs to rest now, and you two need a break, too.” the nurse told them, gently squeezing Ziva’s hand. Tim stepped up to the incubator, putting his hand inside and stroking Ella’s cheek.

“Mommy and Daddy have to leave now, Ella. We’ll be back soon, though, I promise.” he softly told her, stepping away to make room for Ziva.

“We love you so much, little girl.” Ziva whispered, adjusting the beanie again before allowing Tim to guide her from the NICU. They left the hospital building and went to the park, sitting down on a bench. She pulled her legs up and curled into Tim’s side, closing her eyes. “Do you think we should show them to Connor? The pictures, I mean.” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Tim had wrapped his arm around her shoulder, his eyes also closed, both listening to the sound of the birds. She felt him squeeze her shoulder.

“I don’t know.” he muttered after a while, sighing. “It may scare him, because of all the wires and how small she is… then again, he’s never really seen a baby, ‘cept for Palmer’s, and he was barely a year old then, I doubt he remembers. I really don’t know.” he said, rubbing a hand over his tired features. Ziva turned her head and looked at him, really looked at him.

He was tired. Dark circles were prominent under his eyes, his features exhausted. A stubble was forming, he hadn’t shaved in over a day because it was taking time away from their hours at the NICU. And either she was hallucinating or he had lost weight already. His clothes seemed too big for him; he was wearing a belt to keep his jeans up.

The nurses at the NICU were keeping an eye on her and made her eat. But she spent most of her time there, and she hadn’t said anything to Tim about eating. And who else was there to remind him, besides her? She quickly made up her mind.

“I am hungry.” she said, and Tim opened one eye to stare at her. She got up and took a deep breath. “Let’s go home. Shower, get changed and then go out to eat somewhere.” she said, her instinct screaming at her how stupid of an idea this was. She couldn’t possibly consider being away from the hospital, away from their daughter? What if something happened, what if she stopped breathing again, what if- Ziva bit her tongue to stop the voice of panic inside her head and forced herself to take a calming breath. Nothing was going to happen to their daughter in the two hours it would take them to shower and get something to eat besides hospital food.

Her husband was looking at her with doubt in his green eyes, clearly uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Ziva.” he started, uncertainty and reluctance in his voice. She stood her ground.

“I want a sandwich. From that place near home. Please, Tim?” she asked him, her voice quivering on its own accord. He clenched his eyes shut before nodding shortly and getting up.

At home, in the shower, she cried into his chest because it really had been a stupid idea and she didn’t think she would be able to go through with it. He held her and washed the soap from their bodies before toweling them off. And at the diner, when he was pushing his plate away after barely two bites, glancing at his watch anxiously, she grabbed his hand in an iron grip and forced herself to remain seated and to eat her sandwich, making him sit with her and nibble at his own food until she was finished.

And when they were finally back at the NICU, Ella was still sleeping peacefully in her incubator, as if they hadn’t left her alone for over three hours.

 _fin._


End file.
